Looking back to move forward

I know many of us would rather skip all forms of reflection because 2020 was such a dumpster fire. It hurt. It took. It challenged. It overwhelmed. 

But I think our reflection can hold space for our grief and our pain as well as our thanksgiving and our hope

In my experience, I’ve found that it’s most often in looking back that I can see God most clearly. It’s in hindsight that I can trace His movement and see all the ways He held me close, even when I feared He was far. Don’t we all have 20/20 vision in the rear-view mirror!?

Let’s look back together. 

What have you learned? 

What have you released? 

What do you desire?

As I’ve looked back on 2020, I found the gift of less. 

I’ll be honest, at first it felt more like an uninvited heartache that I couldn’t control as I watched the world encounter less certainty, less unity and less security. In my own life it meant less people, less activity and less connection. All of it broke my heart, but with the less – there also came more. More of what was right before me. 

This year brought into focus what really matters most – my family and closest people, my God-inspired dreams and desires and the things I need to learn and also unlearn.

Not to mention I got an up-close seat observing myself respond to stress, uncertainty and limits. It wasn’t pretty and it was far from comfortable and most often it made me angry. Like really angry. But the frequency of my anger was a gift in some ways because I came to see how it was a mask for fear and a strategy for side-stepping my sadness.  So I tried something new and allowed my feelings to speak. I tried my best to listen with compassion instead of judge with condemnation and then let them go. I don’t need my feelings driving me, but they sure are good warning signs as I move through life. This has been new, and I have a far way to go, but it’s been good.

And through it all, God showed up. God showed me that my coping mechanisms of busyness, denial, avoidance, striving and people-pleasing never compare to His ever-loving, never-changing Presence. And He is big enough to hold all the parts of me, including my feelings, while also holding the whole world, too. Wow.

It’s true that His Presence is BIG and always available, if I would just choose it first and before all of my other not-so-effective programs for happiness (like busyness, denial, avoidance, striving, people-pleasing and over-reaction).  And this choice is always good but also hard, because it requires trust and surrender. This was a year I saw more of how really little I can control, so I decided to trust God. Trust my family. Trust my friends. And trust myself.  And the hardest, but most rewarding, was surrendering to His grace to carry all of us.

So that’s what I want more of in 2021. More trust, more grace and more of God’s Presence. I want more awareness of God and less distraction from the world so I think I’ll need to keep things less. This was a good lesson and will take intention.

How about you? 

Yoga is one of the practices that helps ground me in the presence of God, notice His nearness and connect my heart to His. I’d love for you to come and try for yourself!

Join me this Tuesday, 6a-630a for Soul Yoga on Zoom for a time of reflection and moving meditation to receive God’s invitation for you in 2021. Stay in savasana for an optional 10 min guided prayer + Scripture meditation. 💚

And I know yoga isn’t for everyone…it reminds me of my relationship to Pure Barre. Yes, I love you, but not enough to do ballet disguised as exercise! Ha!

So if you aren’t a yogi- but want to join me in looking back to move forward, come and try the One Little Word Challenge with me. My dear friend Amber with Soul Fitness Colorado puts out this challenge every year and it’s my FAVORITE because is simple, intentional and inspiring.

Want to do it with me? It will help you craft a framework to build your year around and bring life to the desires of your heart in 2021.

My hubby tried it last year for the first time and now we love doing it together. It’s helps us support and witness one another’s growth and brings us closer together. I think you’ll love it!

Come check it out and give voice to your heart and discover a word to capture your desires and hopes for the new year.

I hope to see you soon, and until then blessings of more trust, more grace and a deep-knowing that God is near,


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